Patricia and Stefan Wilde

please note:- the description of the(other) elderley 'standing' toilet user in this poem is not intended to describe Harry'O'Neill,no matter what you say! ....honestly!
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Little flotilla of fag ends
drift down the guttered canal of urine
gradually negotiating ways around
cubed i...

Timelessness
an immortal invisibilty
abiding in everything,everywhere
even within and immeasureably beyond
the realms of pitiless death.

Relentless traveller
greatly outdistancing and indiscriminately
retrieving its short lived loan
from the futile graspings
of all things mortal

__________________________________________

Patricia Wilde...

Revered assemblage in,
dormitories of truly undesired meagre plots.

Eternal sleepers,those who once were,in the company of,
haphazard weeds,decaying wreaths,wilting flowers,rain soaked mourning cards
squabbling rooks and misfortunes of the elements.

Aged,barely legible
Dear Mother and Grandmother
alongside
Beloved Son
alongside
Our Baby

Lives,laid down by times will and strange t...

Masochistic progress
away from Edens memory.
Caged in ever heightenings of self
Earth and mankind
precariously dance
to the dirgeful music of death throes
ringing out across
forests of concrete
mountains of greed
over abundant rivers
of blood...

Morning light so blurred with clouds.
Could'nt tell a.m. from p.m.
Driving North.
Sickly,you, on this so long a distance.

I cheered you with the promise of caressing weather waiting for us.
Nothing to do but press on through the dimmed miles.

Winter and earlier ensuing months wronged by the overstay of snow
still hanging onto my thoughts by their white tainted fingernails.

First...

Streetlight through our darkened bedroom window
fixes your naked posture.
I,tucked in with my body warmth,watch,
still made to be gobsmacked,after all these years!

You return to bed having very skimpily dressed
diffusing the accumulated warmth.
I am drawn into the enticing breath you take
that begins the pouring onto and into of each other.

In listening to the after stillness
night mo...

A worn face,dilapidated with addiction,peers out
from the confined shadows of a piss pooled shop doorway.
With her fag damaged voice
she offers me comfort at a price I can,but won't afford.

In this cemetery of hours,she,
looking more a ghost than a ghost,
stares at and through me
into a distance,where her dreams have,in all likeliness, gone to die.

Am I desperate enough? I ask myse...

This night,beautifully,
will flesh have its first say
in a vocabulary of young pain destroying pleasure.

The unimportance of dreams
need not be sought
and love,newfound,will banish cheerless preludes
to mornings victorious sun,

burning its eagerly brimming
bright sign of joy
on the ending of nights journey
to the destination of,
the forever remembering heart.

--------------------...

I take a stand against bullshit
the pretending to see what is not here,or there
vis-a-vis,the unknown
inclusive of all invisibilities,
lets say,things without reflections
with the same credibility as sweet fuckall.

Me? I am a flesh and blood passenger
in this vehicle of reality
a believer in the stink of shit and the taste of sugar
a player in a life game,a cog in the turning of days
r...

Unfolding, unceasing, in splendour,green,blue
whispering adagios
full thunderous orchestrations
composed,
played by,
liquid fingers
on endless golden keyboards.

_____________________

Patricia Wilde...

I met my reward in a rainbow
name signing on a tremulous Loch
but disclosing nothing
of where it was born
or the palette to where it would eventually return.

And the presence of you Satan
is nowhere to be seen,or felt.
Your claiming a stake in such beauty is denied.

The rainbow certainly is not yours
nor the waters,or
above all,
the gratitude I possess
for your absence.
__________...

Occasionally receiving his parcel of light,
he returns from the blindness in his mind

and gets ready to greet her.

It is only the hallucinatory power of love
temporarily conjuring with his awakening
making him believe she has been pardoned by death.

Time for hat and coat!

'my wife is coming to take me home!
he tells other residents excitedly.

Most of them,cruelly left with j...

Leave or obey lady!
forget seeing me anymore
as the person I am today.

From now on,I'm going to wring the dark
out of every night with you and
longer whispers made of fresh truths.

Drop the grey routine of retiring into pages
of some soppy book before lights out
followed by your snoring impersonations of a cross-cut saw,
you have become a lover of sleep-I have become a lover of l...

​He speaks few words
but they build a mountain of meanings.
Short sentences he writes
read like an encyclopedia.
Of small stature
yet his presence is gigantical enough
to make the whole world Lillyput
and with such rare skills in his hands
he is able to reshape imperfections
into miracles....

an end of era veil

was drawn over the proceedings.

Seeing her passing in unwakeable sleep

put a gloating smile on my face.

No longer can she trouble us,or we her.

You may ask why I came here

and stand amid a morass of patriots

and owners of ex-council houses?

I came to assure myself beyond all doubt

that I was absolutely free from the dragons teeth...

asked for help with homework
the scowling 'Father' sighs heavily
puts down his tenth can of Fosters
stubs out his spliff,sucks in the bulging stomach
he calls muscle,while keeping an eye
on the fourth slasher movie he was just enjoying and
momentarily turns to his son(by three women ago)
and blurts out while kicking an empty pizza box
across an already cluttered room
'yer best...

I'm walking across the hills
with radio four in my ears.
I see a Lapwing being beautiful,just as
the news of more deaths
in far off countries comes on.

I dont want to hear about the world
being poisoned by self seeking,so
I drown it out with a Metallica cd (those Americans)

Although the need to offset suffering is unfair
and somewhat unbalances my feelings
and although the thoug...

Arise!
insinuates the tiptoeing dawn.
You achingly unfold
assuming the daily dissatisfying posture,
wishing the colour in your cheeks(face)
could match the colour of yesteryears skin.
Before you dress in the clothes you hate
there is always the obligatory pause,just...........time
enough to snatch a golden momentary exit.
Today
is another stand off between you and anything too physical,s...

There is a rubbing together of hands
an expectation in open palms
lowered over the grate,as
a little cheery and smokey spiral ascends
to be scattered by the wind.

From between the kindle rafted logs
the ballet of flame begins.
Slowly,the gaudy dancers
perform their leaps and curlings
combust'ily snaking around the dead wood
like witches fingers.

The crackling cacophony is under...

I joked sometime ago
about one of us dying.
Without warning,the joke turned sour,and
now I have no one.
After losing a long battle again,against torture
I decided to convey your clothes and belongings to charity.

A day last week
I saw one of your favourite dresses,with a stranger in it
step off a bus.
She walked ahead and I followed,at a distance.
I was hoping she would make her way to...

A slowly
sun bleached
window veil,dried to death
finally gives up its last grip
on the cord that has suspended it
for far too long.
Fluttering to the sill
allows the sun to fully enter
and discolour further still,old semen stains on the empty bed,
yellowing by-products of sexual activity long long passed
and more recent patches of blood
that once would never have been allowed to pour...

My very first book.
Wonderfully illustrated.
Helping to give birth to imagination,here
above and assisting largely printed words
gradually coming to life,forming thoughts.

A very neccessary stepping stone
filled with enough to enthrall any three year old as I was then
and shape my way to roads ahead.

Roads I was to discover had stories
of their own to tell,
stories I have had the mi...

Although the river is true
in telling of details above
and can easily put fingers of its own
on the clock face of its own Big Ben
but it could never put honest men
in its own parliament.

How common,such an incapability!...

It is her inner radiance
that has drawn me in.

A place where doubt
has long given way to an awareness
of her true source.

Here,nothing else matters.

Together,we have spiritually broken
the bonds of conditional love.

__________________________________________

Stef Wilde...

Fighting broke out in our local pub
after a nutter threw a chair through the air
hitting a washer type woman,a deaf and a dumb'un
as large as a grizzly bear
who blamed a small man that had a slight tan
she slung him over the bar
becoming quite squeamish a lady from Beamish
phoned for a cop in a car.
In came Mr. Plod a stubble chinned sod
shouting 'now then lets be having you!
a f...

(side A)
Old sods and old gags
pensions,bus pass's
strong windy days
lifting the skirts of the lass's
exposing their pantie pads
held on by wings

these are a few of wot is me favourite fings

Progs for the living on just a few channels
road raging with people older than me
so I can kick in their panels
cd's by Metallica
and never ever by Bing

'ere is sumfink more...

Ok-
So should I lie
waiting for slumber
to be delivered
by the sleep instigating sheep
bounding one by one by one and so on
over the flowery douvet hills
my raised knees have created,or
go underneath to seek it?

Pot holing in pyjamas
looking for it
in dark chambers
of water bottled warmth

like a miner
searching for the dream seam....

So
needing to be needed
she subjected herself to persuasion.

He
portraying meekness
humbling himself before her
while licking his lips in her absence
no room in his clenched heart for truth

she
now in a cage of his true colours
reaping the harvest
of her own and bitterly rewarding foolishness....

The journey here
wasnt too difficult
minimal inconvenience really.

All the time wondering what could be found?

Cost of the trip
to this place could be said
to have been everything and nothing.
Very little in the scheme of things.

And herein lies the problem.

It costs nothing
and has zero value.

So who touts the benefit
of this infinitely tranquil place?

I've heard it s...

She took off the wig
removed the heavy make up
stepped out of the youthful attire
offering the whole facade
to the Goddess
of time passing...

Wintering has rooted itself in and
clogs most of her days now.

Long has it been
since she stepped outside
into the unmanned garden
and spoke to the green fingered ghost
of her husband.

Frailty and futility
have heavier set their prices.

House and memories
are being defeated
by dust,incapability
and the absence of her
good to their mother children

always willing were they
to...

Having telephoned the future

went out in a yesterday car

to watch the troops go by

in dead red and wailing white

I became so hungry for for toast and filth

as the light hardened into a desirable shape.

It was while the earth and sky

decided not to meet at the corners

that I descended the hill

into the cavern of the sun

where the underworld of water...

You wrote-
"the wound of my missing you has healed"

those were just some of the words
in your last letter.

It must have felt to you
like having slowly and finally drained away
the flow of isolation and loneliness
that had been coursing through you for too long.

And I reply
but only in thought-
of how full I am and will remain so
of emptiness
foolishly expecting you to h...

Delicious

yes delicious

is the knife

you keep on pushing

through my heart

and into my soul.

Please

leave it there

let it be.

I want to savour

the beautiful new way

that its pain tastes differently

day by day.

Or

am I asking too much

for something

I dont deserve

and perhaps too late-

have your desires of the past

di...

Funny to compare
where daylight goes-
such as in between mens whiskers
and babies toes.
There again in comparison
rain water drops
and makes different notes
in plips and plops
slops over gutters
onto mutterers at uncovered bus stops.

Also comes to mind
when the moon is kind
its whiteness finds its way through blinds
and silvery smotes goats and coats
on the backs of homeward drunke...

(like lots of others)

An air of lovelessness
hung about this unforgiving refuge.

Refuge

thats how we remember it.
Not a home.

Hunger and deprivation
mercilessly embedded themselves there
peering through every filthy window
sitting in every rubbish cluttered corner.

Normality passed us by
we became unwantedly used
to empty tables and Mothers absence.

On rare occasions wh...

Mornings early life light
goldenly washes over
the floral parade
clustered tiered community
flirtatiously scenting the air
communing with the acknowledgement
of my senses.

Beckoning sirens of colour
each dazzling contributor
luring the eye to behold
their thankful upgrowth
to the arching sun.

Shame
dew teared dusk
that you must come descending
to shade so rich a hoard
and fell...

It was on a day many many years ago
I noticed in the newspaper
a one-off showing
of the latest Walt Disney film
that was being shown on our local cinema.

A sci-fi movie suitable for children
which I just knew ours would absolutely love.
In a somewhat state of urgency
I decided to phone the booking office
and reserve the neccessary number of seats.

Very excited at the time of phoning...

Shuddering,squealing,lurching
the journey begins.

It isnt long before
the first of places I have never visited
start the slide show

they begin to jump towards and away
from my window.
Landscapes heighten,dip and taper
into the shrinking distance.

The periphery of a run down council estate
peeps over and through gaps
in vandalised fencing

as the motion of the train
ripples the...

In seeking the understanding
and appreciation of silence
I shall lessen the need to busy my mind.

If any crowding of the cranium is required
it will be done whenever possible
in a way that thoughts will have to form
an orderly and very quiet queue!

Part of my ongoing quest for such
takes me here
where the lessons of peacefullness are taught
those I am all too eager to learn.

By li...

I HATE love.
The way it clings to me.
Covertly finding a way in.
Gradually displacing my love of hatred.

Fuck!.......you see?

there it is again!
oh! the crafty beautiful bastard!...

He came out of nowhere
to bully the sun dipped clouds
and hurl his invisible voice
onto my window

before swirling off
to shake the living daylight
out of the trees
and force them to dance
on whatever direction takes his fancy.

Being inside
I am protected and
in a position to defy his blast.

It is earths rotation
I cannot defy
but hope she will continue carrying me
in the usua...

.

.

.

.

a jury of shadows

.

.

.

crowd my conscience

.

.

.

judging,compelling me

.

.

.

to look into the windows

.

.

.

of my guilt.

.

.

.

For never having had the faith of desire

.

.

.

to fill you with the love

.

.

.

I gave to others.

.

.

.

I can only clo...

She asks...

how are you feeling?

peacefulness and acceptance
are one to me now
I reply

closeness and companionship
mean little
and have long fallen away

their importances are dead.
Under my breath
I rebuke her concern

life as it was
has left me

the world is a place somewhere else
amongst myriads of of elsewheres

end counts down
to a meeting point of parallel roads...

O that you could come down
from the cross
sway with me
to the shrill sound of wild air
weaving through your loosely bound
and ragged form.

Put your tinderish face
close to mine.
Let me not imagine I see sorrow
in the hollow eyes
and only feel the straw heart beating
with the want to be free.

If only we could dance together untiringly
in faster and faster revolutions
dispossessing...

Coming back
from too much of a party.

The car thirsts to a stop.

We push
attempting the short
but nevertheless
challenging steep gradient

trying to reach the teasing top
of a long long free wheeling descent
down into our village on the other side.

Suddenly a badger peers out
from the roadside undergrowth
tilting its head from side to side in a curious manner
as though never h...

Momentum of the world
consuming itself
is quickening by the day.

It is being forced
to cannibalise itself
by the minority of tainted people.

They who prefer we sit
with our backs to them
as they go about their sorry deeds.

Their hands
over our ears
their devious words
blindfolding our hearts.

Not wanting us
to listen to or see
their plans for the expansion
for self annihila...

everything you say
and have said
has little meaning.
It offers not
to lift or excite my spirit.
Without determination,faithless.
Non indicative of wanting to
fulfill my desires,and ungiving of yours.
A bloated melee of inconsistancies
cloaking all I have longed to hear
that you cannot
and probably never will
find it in your heart to tell.
______________________________________________...

It happened.

I cant tell you
how or why

Barbed
it fixedly hung onto my heart

But in your closeness you too were aware of it
and raised your defences from a spiritual depth and saved me from the strangulation of sorrow.

I knew you would have left me waiting
till its darkness completely overwhelmed me

You were there to stop me
falling over the edge of light

You were always goi...

The night is wet
sodium brightness casts its exposing glare
upon what the dark really needs to hide
my pack of ten is down to one
is this crawling black car my ride?

The driver choosing the sweetest piece of street meat
will he stop and pay to ease my addictive pain?
then I will be his pornographic toy
ten minute present of oral joy then back to the kerbside in the rain.

Another filth...