3 tin rings

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Three tin rings wound round the other

Fell in a chain tin tings together

Ching ching the bling bill got bigger

And I tink you teefed it like a little tinker’s nigger

You hid it in your pocket

Lifted it with thin fingers

Spindled round a hypo

Swiftly mingled blood and hydro

Till im throwin in your jeans

Minging stink into the laundrette dryer

And chink chi...

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Kushagarnie, kushagarnie

Baby on your mother’s knee

Kushagarnie, kushagarnie

Eating marmalade for tea.


Buy a rainbow for a penny

Tie it to a tumtum tree.

April showers for pretty flowers

Give them marmalade for tea.


Wrap the wind up in a wigwam

Till it blows a melody

Children dancing, horses prancing

After marmal...

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Space Knits

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A whole lot of guff must be gruntled

Before Pearlit and Dropstitch’s moon trip,

So they knitted away with nothing to say

Then danced with a portly matchstick.


But Pearlit was really, never that sort,

His eyes preferred full-flavoured cheese,

He’d spend the weekends at the space port

But in photos he’d stand on his knees.


The gates were all locke...

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"KRUNF!" Says The Fnurk


In the land of Scroodleflump, nothing works how you think.

Gruddles live in bongalodes, grass is the brightest pink.

Gruddles are slith and lanky, covered in purple fur,

Their bongalodes wood-built, when they’re sad they purr.


Mr. and Mrs. Gruddle are most stranculiar.

They scrunge and gruff about, their sproglet is Tulia.

Tulia has a stropple in the muddle o...

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The wind of the wivering woggeldy woo


When the wind of the wivering woggeldy woo
came prowling the village of Kamchatkaroo,
it wiggled and sniggled and squeezed its way through,
and the whispers it glummoxed were steely and blue,
in the silve of the salvering sun,
by the silve of the salvering sun.

It ricked and it rocked and it renneled around,
the houses all filled with inquantible sound,
as it cunningly r...

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Haven't you got one of those?


"Haven't you got one of these?" they said,
Haven't you got one of those?

It's pixelbyte loaded and glows at the seams,
It's powered outrightly by unicorns' dreams,
It's carbonicatic and kind to the trees,
It's helpful and friendly and eager to please,
"Haven't you got one of these?" they said,
Haven't you got one of those?

It'll miraclise and reprovitalate,
It'll mir...

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The Eftymoo

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The Eftymoo is private, quite a jingtish thing,

In the early of the morning or the late of the night,

Your hearing could be shattered when the Eftymoo sing,

Their pandemous crooning really is a fright.


Exopting their tune with some nerve-wrenching Grrräääcks!

‘cos only an E’moo mum could wurg an E’moo’s voice,

The non-moos are leaving in singles and in packs,


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The Agropuss

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I thought I saw an Agropuss when I was out one day

The morning it was moisty as the clouds all surfed away

But it was not an Agropuss that caught my skandric eye:

A Blunderhound had chanced upon my path and loundly cried...


“Who dares to trip, this moisty morn, upon this field of mine?

I must insist – ‘No Tresspassers’” Did you not see the sign?

His jaungreen...

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The Harum-Scarum and the Lickety-Split

Were hot stuff fast, no doubt of it!

In a land of legendary creatures,

Their speed burned through its fabled features.


Around the country each was spied

Leaving scorch marks far and wide.

Though often invited out for dinner,

Neither got fatter...only thinner.


Until some soul was heard to say

"Those fellows j...

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The Glopsnork

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Mollie was a brilly girl,

She got a starky fright

When she met the glopsnork

One moony twankled night.


Did it really chancey do?

Or did it dreamy blur?

Mayhaps she was transpuddled

To a beachy sclur.


He stood uplong on three legs,

Sporting a whishy tail,

Droopy ears and a huge nose,

A grin that couldn't fail.


“Jello girlie,...

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and so begins the tale


yad remmus enO’

a butterfly lit upon a

,detser dna rewolf

fanning its wings gently.


derrits ria ehT


ezeerb a emaceb

 a wind

a elag  mrots a

a mighty force of

!noitcurtseD dna htaeD




‘yhpargoeg no gnidneped


“STOP, I say, stop this stupid story.


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Wot I did at Night School

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Slim Slam Snigger Snogger

Nif naf noo

Ack gack piddle poddle

Bink Pleen Grue


this here’s an pome,

o can’t you see,

an pome wot woz

writ by me.            

it should’ve been

an flowerpot,

but that is clearly

wot it’s not.

my spelling tests

I didn’t pass ---

I thought the sign said

‘pottery class’

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Flippity Floppety Flump (Competition)

Flippity Floppety Flump-

The Cow jumped over the moon-

and landed with a heck of a thumpety thump-

thumpety thump...thumpety thump...thumpety thump!


The Cow said ' what is this swelling on my head'-

the cat replied it's a ' Flippity Floppety Flumpety Bump'-

you see with the gravitational pull of our planet Earth-

the spoon hit you at great speed, you are lucky ...

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Tags: Nonsense Comp

Tickling Fish



Once upon a time in Alongalongalo

I was taught to tickle fish by an old Eskimo

I will tell the trick to you, if you howl “Bomballoo!”

all the way to Timbuktu, in reverse


To tickle Koi one must learn to speak in Mayonnaise

Goldfish should be chundered to in Carrotalian

Skate enjoy a skithering along their spineytines

Whereas Tuna like their tozies ch...

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What Is A Goit? WOL Comp / Nonsense Verse

What Is A Goit?

For what is a Goit if not it be black?
A Goit is a Goit and that is that
As black as a crow, as black as a cat
A Goit is an enchanted artifact

A Goit may be skinny, a Goit may be fat
It may raise itself up or squash itself flat
Sometimes bareheaded, more oft in a hat
Its hair is well-beaded and fashioned in plats

Should ever a Goit of differing hue
Appear at ...

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When Neptune Filled His Boots (Nonsense)

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When Bibble he would a bounding swim

Boundless glore upon his fizzog

Splashed he breastie ways and overlimb

Swimming swifty like a croc log

Quiet stealth he’d swimmy creep

Both overland and overseas

Until upon toasted stooks he’d leap

Climbed the highest Groolam trees

Came then Krabb and turning Turtle

Came then coughing Doobah birds

Nurbling yams and wee...

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