Biography

I have been writting for more years than i care to remember.So why do I still write?
I suppose its because it brings me some comfort, a way to deal with the past and just maybe a way to find some kind of peace amidst a live hell.
Most of my work is autobiographical and if honest, very negative, sometimes rude and insulting. But to me "Every moment has its own truth" and at the time of writting they were true.

Samples

OH I WISH THAT I WAS KIND

In a world that has now become heartless
Its ok unto others mistreat
There are many that I have forgotten
There are souls who Ive still yet to meet
This world needs much more compassion
But today that is to hard to find
How I wish that I was more gentle
Oh I wish that I was kind

There are thousands out there who need pity
There are thousands out there who need help
There are thousands out there who are crying
There are thousands out there like myself
There are thousands out there who are lonely
There are thousands out there left behind
How I wish that I was more gentle
Oh I wish that I was kind

I wish I could feel what your feeling
And believe in the things you believe
And to see the world through your eyes
And all of the goodness you percieve
But Im one of the many jaded
One of many emotionally blind
How I wish that I was more gentle
Oh I wish that I was kind

One day my heart maybe opened
One day I may see what is true
One day I may feel others pain
And for this im depending on you
It will be a hard road to travel
At the end I hope that I find
That now I am more gentle
That now I have learned to be kind



THE SAD AND MOURNFUL PHANTOMS
ON THE EDGE OF THE NIGHTS DARK RIM

We are the phantoms
on the edge of the nights dark rim
We stand in the hollow silence
in this frozen land
No blood can restore the flower within
Of a sad and mournful phantom
On the edge of the nights dark rim

We still exsist in legends
We still exsist in the minds of men
Who would rather forget that we exsist at all
We whisper to you, but you cannot hear
For your ears are filled
With the noise of the world
That has no place set aside
For us

We call, we call, hear us now
Hear us once more
For we are cold, we are tired,we are lost
We are the phantoms
On the edge of the nights dark rim
Trapped in this realm of unending night
Bearer of wounds, left to bleed
We are bleeding, we are bleeding to death
But yet you still do not hear
Give us some life, give us some peace
Give us some hope
For we still exsist, we still exsist
But you would rather forget
We whisper, we whisper
Do we have to shout
We were taken before our time was due
We wait, we wait
For you
We hang round the edge of your lives
Dont keep us waiting

We are the phantoms
On the edge of the nights dark rim
We are crying, still crying
Crying out to you, to release us
Please
But you make us suffer, you make us exsist
We still exsist
We exsist in your childrens dreams
We exsist in the glimpse of a shadow
We exsist in the flash of the fire
That burns on the hills far away
Yes we are the phantoms and we exsist
On the edge of the nights dark rim

We exsist, because you deny us exsistance
You deny us mercy, you deny us hope
Admit that we are, and we shall find peace
And dissapear like the wind
We still live on in fables
And in the hearts of men
Who will put you to death swiftly
This being the only mercy that they will show

We are the victims
We are the seeds that were sown
We are the children
We are the fruits of the harvest
We are the damned
We are the mirrors of the soul
We are the phantoms
We huddle together
We huddle together for we are in fear
Help us to to find glory
Help us to win
Our escape from the shadows
On the edge of the nights dark rim




FATHER TAKE ME FROM THIS LAND

When I look up all I see is fire
Destruction is all around
And bodies slow'ly burning
With that popping sizzling sound
Weve made this place desolation
All fall right were they stand
I cannot take much more of this
Father take me from this land

There's so much pain all around me
A place were men and children die
Were human beings disintergrate
Were even warriors cry
The red dust rots your body
The violence rots your head
Father take me from this land
Before I leave here dead

The jungle is like a fever
It grows and drains my skin
Of what little strength it has
This jungle and the war thats within
Where my brothers and I are together
We make such a desperate band
With eyes dead from such horrors
Please, father take us from this land

Oh christ, take cover, incoming
We scatter like rats from a hound
we dive into holes and curl up in the mud
With the shit and the blood and spent rounds
Then its over and I crawl from my foxhole
And the first thing I saw was this hand
An arm,and a head, half a chest nothing more
Father take me from this land


A COFFIN FULL OF DREAMS

Lines in all directions
Words hang in the air
Broken dreams are dangerous
So dream them if you dare
Hatred can consume you
Charity to it seems
Beware the friend'ly faces
And there coffin full of dreams

Read there so called words of wisdom
They'll put paradise within your grasp
But if you read between the lines
You'll see paradise is full of traps

The parasites talk at the edges
The hypocrites laugh at the gates
In the centre the psychic vampires
Sit and quietly wait
For someone like you just to enter
They smile at you oh so polite
Till you get to close then they grab you
Drag you down into that sorrow filled night

Were your dreams are like a hall full of mirrors
Your face in reflection, its fear
The dream then starts to get more vicious
And whats worst, its getting to near

Heads come out of the shadows
Hands come out of the dust
The slit eyes of the demon are on you
You say you cant move, but you must
For there hands will entwine round your ankles
There jaws will snap at your face
The eyes of the demon will drag you here
Every night to this place

So listern while your still able
Listern and listern carefully
Dont follow the sweet talkers of causes
For their cause, is a coffin full of dreams


EACH DAWN I DIE

Ive lost all sense of direction
And I just dont know were to go
I seem to be going in circles
In every direction I know
Im certain'ly not a brave person
Tho I tell you god knows I try
Ive got a heart that needs to awake
But its hard cause each dawn I die

Its hard to explain how Im feeling
I feel like Ive just lost my tounge
My eyes, my ears, my fingers
My family, my friends everyone
Id scream out all of my anger
Or break into tears and cry
If I was'nt so afraid to be human
So instead each dawn I die

I dream of being with angels
But dreamers are fools in disquise
They go thru the lives telling story's
They cripple themselves with there lies
They think that everyone hates them
They believe it and god knows why
And Im one and I just cannot stop it
Make the night stay, cause each dawn I die

Oblivions call seems so natural
And I bend to the whispers of sin
I look at the anger within me
And the loneliness there within
Im trapped on the path of the tiger
I look at the jewel of its eye
Then I wake and the nightmares come up with the sun
So again each dawn I die


THE F WORD

I thought that i would treat myself
And go to a place Id heard
I grabbed my coat, went out the door
To gorden ramsey's F word
I walked right in and sat right down
And waited to be served
I sat there for an hour
State'ly and reserved

But then I put my fingers in my mouth
And whistled at the guy
Who looked at me like I was trash
with daggers in his eyes
He sauntered over to me
Like he had a butt plug up his arse
Hovered over me, menu in hand
How may one help sir he asked

Well let me see I said with glee
Ill sample your fine fare
Then I perused the menu
With a certain savour fair
As to the appertizers
What would you recommend
Again he looked me up and down
Wondering when would this day end

We have garlic stuffed mushrooms
Im sure sir would adore
And then there are the bleeney's
uuuuuummmm to die for
Rissoto,ham brushetta
Stuffed peppers with chalots
That sounds most appertizing
Ill have the bleedin lot

And as to sir's entrays
Has sir seen something that would please
Yes sir has made his mind up
He'll have steak, chips and mushy peas
And how would sir like his steak
Said the now impatient waiter
I dont give a fuck, just kill it
And run it past a radiator

Well I had myself a good time
Chomping on my food
While everybody watched me
Some women said "how rude"
Then John Baptist came over
Said Gorden would like a chat
Gorden polite'ly said to me
Get out my fucking resturant, you fucking twat

That was a day to remember
Tho I was one of those that wouldnt pay
You see there was no gravy
Just a small point, thats all I have to say
But if you've liked my story
and would like a little more
You can see me on next wednesday
9 o clock channel 4


FRAGILE IS A HOUSE OF PAIN

I know im mad
yet i do not rave
In darken night
Or by hallowed grave
I know there's madness
In this brain
Oh how fragile is my house of pain

My life, your life
Its all a fake
Is man so perfect
Or is he the mistake
There li'es in madness
The ways to behave
I know Im mad
But i do not rave

All these hours
My mind just rips
Pounding and peeling
My mind in strips
And you out there
How do you survive
To escape the tears
Or did they pass you by

ARE YOU LISTERNING TO ME
Cant you smell the stink
Can you say you are sane
No dont answer, just think
I know im mad
Im to late to save
But I cant tell if you are
FOR YOU DO NOT RAVE


ALL FOR THIS

As the neon lights shine on a residential dump
The sky props itself on a gas station pump
The sewars overflow into the city square
Where that damn knight on his charger is still sat there
And the little girls sit in the all night cafe
Were the freaks catch fire at least twice a day

As the neon lights shine on the dirty old bricks
While the sky just collapsed at a quarter past six
Where eleven year old kids just sit and sniff glue
Then they dive under trains just for something to do
And the taxi's all park in a nice neat row
Till a fight breaks out, start your engines man, go

As the neon lights reflect on the grave yard river
And the sky's pissed off, just look at it shiver
Till a corpse floats past all battered and burned
Then they fish it out and the image returns
The river just stinks of chemical crap
No there aint no fish, would you swim in that

As the neon lights shine on the megastore clan
The sky signed itself into hospital for a body scan
Where the kids on dope all beg the nurse
To give em some help cause there strung out or worst
There's only two ways you can keep them from harm
Thats with needles in there necks or with tubes in there arms

As the neon lights blow from an electrical short
The sky mailed itself to some spanish resort
Were it does'nt have to look down an air condition duct
Were the babies are sold by the local corrupt
And pretty girls get raped on a market stall
You can buy a ticket, if you know who to call

And the pope needs a connection cause he's feeling awful down
Till he heard the merchndise was in another part of town
And the police they hauled him in cause they could'nt stand the smell
And they dragged him thru the courts then dumped him in a cell
Were they found him hung one morning
And the chief of police just spoke
Said "hey man were only kidding" guess he could'nt take a joke

As the neon lights shine were the needles have to shout
And the sky caught hepititus and then gently faded out
All the morgue's in town on overtime they wait for you to die
Then they say its time to feed the dogs here comes a fresh supply
And any bones left over are always put to use
There ground and put in nickel bags and sold right back to you

Dirty boys live in a dirty haze a life they cant resist
Were there married to a needle or there married to there wrist
A sad and lone'ly girl has been conditioned its a crime
when she plays with herself in her bedroom
And then comes for the very first time
Hold the sepulcured girls at arms length
In a claustraphobic womb they walk
They whimper and squirm while makin love
There the girls who giggle when they talk

The neon lights have packed up and gone home to bed
The sky just choked to death on an overdose of lead
The police have got a warrent for a priest who does protest
He does a good impression of fagin, but his burke and hare is best
As the neon lights try to find a better way to live
The sky now in my hands, which im now prepared to give

As the neon lights starved on an empty dinner plate
The sky discovered salvation twenty years too late
Like the girl with breast cancer on top of a building she grew
When she looked down, she lost her balance, slipped and dissapeared from view
As the sun decided to come up and it hovers in the air
God almighty, I tell you its much to bright
Who the hell put it there

As the second shift just clocks in takes over from the neon
The sky's become a judas its got its good face on
And the cripples sit with syclles, they demand to have there right
There counting of the hours, wait for the sky to slip back to night
As the cockrel crows in the sunset the cripples re-track and re-trace
All of last nights penny wonders down the holes under there finger nails

As the neon lights dance around the grave of a senorita
The sky commited suicide by a vacant parking meter
And the church are swapping bibles for dirty pictures of st james
Instead of tryin to help the helpless who have monkeys in there vains
Who just sit in darken doorways, my god they look so beat
They dig in there bags and pull out a glass and drink there amphetamines neat

The neon lights have gone out the sky in a mourning hold
All the hop heads have just dissapeared there still fly'in on last nights gold
Then the neon lights come back on as the night gets much louder
The sky decided to rain down three tons of white powder
Those damn lights they just shine on, they even shine under the sea
The sky has now conviced itself, that it is Thomas De Quincy

There's a mist on the wall in bedlam that is made of a strange kind of chrome
Were the lunatic motercyclists run there weekly death race home
And a jukebox howls out a warning, outside of C & As
Were a mother last night pulled out a gun and just blew herself away
And her nine year old son was with her, and when he saw his mother was dead
He got out a match,lit the fuse, and then he just exploded

As the neon lights shine on a schizophrenic moon
The sky just panic'ed and died about four years to soon
The main street is busy on the pavement i am lost
There were so many cars, it took me sixty three days to get across
The rats go on the rampage every second night
Nobody wants to get involved, they keep there doors shut tight

When the pain is racking my body i walk the corridors of power
They ask me what it is i want and then they make me wait for an hour
Till the boss has time to listern to me, said he's on my side, that im not alone
Till I tell him I am an angel that cant find its way back home
Then his face went and turned a blood red and sweat poured from every vain
He said "I need another shot of morphine man, you think your in pain"

The christmas girls charge ahead at full throttle
They want to score some coke and not the kind that comes in a bottle
The pretty new year girls they know there attraction
There twenty four carat solid gold easy action
Trapped in an organized repression the gymslip matrys sing
Give us our freedom
For christ sake give us anything

We want to have a life
We want to have a dream
If god is so just
Why cant he hear us scream
You keep shouting at us
You keep locking us in
Yet its you who sells us this shit
So we can puncture our skin
You say we dont know just what gratitude is
We must be grateful
For what
ALL FOR THIS

All poems are copyright of the originating author. Permission must be obtained before using or performing others' poems.